It's the time of year where everyone is counting down the days to something. Whether it's the few days left till Christmas or the last stretch of a week till the New Year approaches. I think that's what I'm most excited for; the whole new year, fresh start, cleansed out type of feel. With that in mind, here's my annual year round up post where I talk about a theme that stemmed the most significant to me for the year of 2017.
2017 was the year that I let people in.
I guess I'll drive right into it and say that in 2017 I was an open book to everyone and anyone whom I felt a connection to. Now, that isn't entirely a horrible thing. I've created so many great friendships; friendships that I will cherish for a lifetime because when you have a real connection to genuine people that's something you do not want to let go. On the flip side of it all, there were times where I found that opening myself up to some individuals and letting them in resulted in and left me vulnerable and naive one too many times.
For the most part, I've always considered myself to be pretty guarded. Letting people see the real me only if I felt they were reciprocating the same. There were too many times where I found myself in situations of doing the opposite. and was allowing people to see aspects of my mind and my life but they weren't letting me into theirs. It takes a lot for me to put my guard down, mostly because I'm an over-thinker and am extremely paranoid about what might happen in the long term if I let people too close. But over the past year, I was becoming too comfortable with the people that were in my life. So much so that I was spilling my thoughts and feelings everywhere and leaving parts of myself with individuals who eventually would just become temporary figures and who did not give two cents about my feelings. It was definitely my bad for presenting them with the opprotunity to walk all over me. Unfortunately, those pieces of me I lost I know I will never get back.
But it wasn't all too bad though! 2017 was the year I've made relationships with so many amazing people. People that I felt couldn't have come at a more perfect time during phases of transition and that who would allow me to be myself without feeling judged or without any sort of complications. The best part is that they reciprocate those feelings towards me. They're there to listen to whatever I need to say, and want me around just as much as I need them. What makes that even better is the fact that they were with people who like me for me and not for what they thought I was. It's people I would've never thought would come into my life and have definitely changed my whole game.
I've done so much growing over these last 12 months. I figured out my boundaries in terms of selfishness, learned that people will gravitate towards you when you're being yourself, and most importantly I grew a preference for the type of people I want to surround myself with. I'm at a point in my life where I notice that people are making the decision to either keep me around because of significance or dropping me like flies because I don't acquire traits that fit their preference; which is completely a-okay with me. I'm beginning to understand the importance of keeping positive people and vibes around and ridding myself of the things or people that do me no good and only bring me down. Deleting the ones that distract me from great things going on in my life right now and removing people that really backtrack the heck out of my progress. Sorry not sorry but cut out the people who are toxic - you don't need the extra stress. Am I right or am i right?
2018's hopefully the year where I comeback stronger, better, and even more put together. Actually, scratch that. I'm not hopeful 2018's going to be that year, but I'm significantly more determined to make it the best year it can possibly be. The last couple of years have definitely been rough but I can't wait till I see all of it pay off.
Thanks for turning these new pages with me,